I’m (still) a single gal living in Seattle—and unless I meet someone tomorrow, fall into a whirlwind “love at first sight” kind of romance which results in a quickie wedding in Vegas, chances are good that I’m going to be single for a while. Considering society has basically ceased vilifying single mothers and the fact that a gal can pretty much pick a baby-daddy from a catalogue these days, I’ve found myself recently contemplating whether or not I want to have kids. Sans spouse.
Sure, on the “Hell no!” side of the scale, there’s the financial strain that having a kid would put on a single-income household—not to mention the fact that, with no one to pick up the slack, I would probably just stop sleeping for 5 years. But on the other side of the scale, there’s the excitement that comes with the idea of raising another little person who would—hopefully—grow up to be a positive and contributing member of society. In fact, the more I interact with the ‘general population’, the stronger my desire becomes to raise a kid who would be better than most of the nit-wits you meet on the street.
Just last week, I had taken a break from work to go and pick up some lunch. Hands full with my soup and wallet, I approached the door to our building at the same time as another gentleman, a bit older than I, also heading back to work with his lunch. Our eyes met, I smiled thinking we were sharing a quick, silent moment of understanding…and then he yanked the door open, lumbered through it ahead of me, and let it fall heavily behind him in my face. Douche.
It’s moments like that I can’t help but think to myself “Man, I can’t wait until I have a kid.” Because if/when I do, I’d definitely take the time to explain some of the not-so-subtle points about what it takes to be a decent human being. And I’d start with this little tidbit:
Regardless of your race, sex, age, country of origin, or orientation it is NEVER insulting or rude to open or hold a door for someone. Or let them get on the bus before you. Or hold the elevator for them. Or give up your seat for someone. Or close/uncross your legs and scoot the *$@% over to make room next to you during rush hour when the bus is full and there are no single seats left. Even when you don’t wanna.
Posted by Elyse on November 5, 2009 at 10:02 pm
Seriously! Stop cooling down yer balls, close yer legs and scoot over. It’s PUBLIC transportation which means share the seat. Steph, I’d move over any day to have you sit next to me. And my hot balls.
Posted by keldoo on November 6, 2009 at 7:20 pm
Don’t get me started on the whole manners thing. Guys can argue over the women’s lib issue (sorry, it’s not 1972, we are past all this), but it just comes down to DECENCY. Hell, I open doors for other women. Shit.
A lot of my gal pals in their late 30s or older are having the child conundrum. I’m not, but I invite you to read this. Buyer (or breeder!) beware!
http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/sex/10-reasons-not-have-kids-yet-or-ever-517537/
Posted by Ms. No Single Mama Drama on November 29, 2009 at 7:20 pm
Don’t do it!
As a single mother from the get-go, I know all-too well how hard single motherhood is on me and my son! While single motherhood has its rewards and is very doable, looking back on my 17-year journey, I would have much rather had the help, love and support of his father.
Just because more women are doing it, doesn’t mean it’s the best thing for the children. Respectfully, I say wait, if you can. It will benefit both you and your future child(ren).
God bless you!